You can trace the origins of female ejaculation right back to sexual liberation in the 1960s, when women burned their bras.
This was all symbolic of a desire amongst women to explore their sexuality freely and fully – rather than just being objectified as sex objects for men’s pleasure.
Of course fighting against the patriarch in the history of sexual domination by men required empowerment of many different kinds.
For many women, their first empowerment is or was actually having an orgasm – it’s hard to know in retrospect how many women were non-orgasmic in the 1960s, but the figure that has been widely bandied around is 60%.
This astonishing lack of fulfillement is what led to the sexual revolution.
When you think about it that figure of 60% is absolutely astounding. Why? Well, these days, partly due to more relaxed social mores, partly due to the Internet spreading sex education and making erotica freely available, almost every woman would naturally expect to have an orgasm during sexual activity in one way or another.
But things had to start somewhere – and for women to begin masturbating, and even talking openly about sex, was a new development in the 1960s, 70s, and even the 80s.
It was even necessary for women to discover that having fantasies about sex was permissible and acceptable, and that it could help them reach orgasm.
You can see how far away from things like female ejaculation we were until very recently!
In fact, except in a few limited cultures, for most of human history female ejaculation, or squirting as some now call it, was unknown or at best thought of as an abnormality.
In the past most men would not even have been interested in giving women sexual pleasure in this way, either. You see, the sexual dynamic at play in the 1960s to 1970s was that men “used” women to get orgasms, and women “used” sex to get children, protection, money, a settled life. You name it, women have used sex to get it.
And that’s hardly an empowered position! So, together with a move in society for women to become more empowered in other ways, the 1980s were perhaps the start of the process of sexual liberation, or, more accurately, sexual education.
Role models like Madonna – the pop star – helped make sexual women acceptable, and images of assertive women normal.
Madonna: Like A Virgin
Madonna: Sex (Lyrics)
“Soaking wet, Let me get on top, back and forth till we break the bed.”
Cultural Change Around Sexuality Orgasm & Squirting
Along with the cultural change in the way women were perceived, a whole body of work was necessary to encourage women to be truly sexual and to inhabit their sexual personas fully.
This was work done by pioneers like Betty Dodson, Annie Sprinkle, and the early experts in Tantric sexuality.
So through the 1990s and 2000s, women’s sexual exploration of their own bodies continued, with the aid of adult films on the Internet and the burgeoning amount of erotica available for women who could now see what might perhaps be expected in the way of sexual pleasure.
Of course discoveries about female sexuality and the capacity of a woman’s body to produce intense sexual pleasure have continued right up to this day, and I think we could safely say that the Internet has made squirting both normal and acceptable.
What is certainly true of course is that most women now expect to have an orgasm during sexual activity, if not during intercourse itself.
Photos of a woman reaching orgasm during intercourse.
The variety of sexual activities that men and women can enjoy have increased exponentially as knowledge about sexual pleasure has become more widely available.
But even so, there are still very few men who really know how they can make a woman squirt, and it’s fair to say that limited numbers of men and women are exploring female ejaculation.
That’s disappointing, because not only does the exploration of human sexuality lead to better orgasms, it actually has something to teach us about ourselves. For one thing, sexual expression can help us in expressing emotions, thoughts, feelings and desires.
True sexual expression – which means uninhibited sexual expression – can help us come more creative and imaginative.
But in addition, being fully informed about the rights and possibilities of sex allows people – perhaps women in particular – to set clear boundaries, and make informed choices about what they want.
In the process we can all become more tolerant and understanding of others who have different sexual expectations and perhaps choose to follow a sexual path that we ourselves find difficult to understand.
In the archetypal model of the human personality formed by Carl Jung, there are four main archetypes: the King, the Warrior, the Magician, and the Lover.
Women naturally fall into lover energy when they move into their teens and experience a blossoming of their sexuality. This is a necessary part of their development as women.
And for those teenagers whose sexuality is suppressed and repressed, denied and hidden, the exploration of sexual desire is not only a way of obtaining pleasure, but also a way to recovering the full energy contained in their lover archetype.
Without this, there can be no full expression of their female, their innate femininity.
Now I’m not suggesting that learning to squirt – discovering how to female ejaculate – is absolutely necessary for a woman to rediscover her sexuality and explore her feminine archetypes, but I know that it certainly helps a woman become more uninhibited, more sexual, and feel her feminine energy flow more easily.
And that’s good for all of us – to become more fully ourselves, by exploring every aspect of our personality – including our sexuality.
In short, the more we care for and honor our sexuality, and the more we develop our innate sexual energy and sexuality, the happier and more well-adjusted – perhaps even fulfilled – we will all become.
Let’s move on and discover what female ejaculation can do for a woman!
Well, first of all, female ejaculation is a natural part of the female sexual response. It is actually an aspect of being feminine, an aspect of being a woman – and beyond that, it’s actually fun…. It’s very sexy for sure, and it’s also psychologically freeing and extremely erotic.
You see, the thing is this: female ejaculation is actually a woman’s birthright and every woman is born with the anatomical structures that allow her to ejaculate with the right stimulation during sexual arousal.
A lot of women have believed that female ejaculation is actually something to do with urination. In fact the fluid is produced during ejaculation is completely distinct from urine. Check this out here.
And it’s quite understandable that a woman would be scared of peeing, of releasing urine, during sex. So overcoming this doubt can be liberating. And that liberation, that sense of freedom, can spread to other areas of life.
So female ejaculation is not only freeing, but it allows a woman to become more empowered, and it may even be a good way of learning more about your emotional expression.
You see, the thing is, G spot stimulation and female ejaculation can overcome sexual problems that are very common among women (like low libido and low sexual satisfaction) – and on top of that, stimulation of the G spot definitely opens up a woman’s emotions, and this can be a gateway to intimacy and real connection with your partner.
Why Is Female Ejaculation So Powerful?
The G spot appears to be linked to the pelvic nerve, rather than the pudendal nerves which provide sensation to the clitoris. As a result, orgasms produced by G spot stimulation have an emotional component that is missing from clitoral orgasms, and there’s definitely some kind of emotional aspect that seems deeper than the physical pleasure of a clitoral orgasm.
Sexual wounding – perhaps even every act of unwanted intercourse – numbs the G spot, so that it is insensitive to pleasure and stimulation. Indeed, G spot stimulation may even feel painful. But when healed and awakened to greater pleasure, the G spot becomes a gateway to woman’s full sexual expression. And that includes ejaculation….. which seems to be a natural quality of the Female G Spot.
By any standards, the number of women who know about the G spot what it can do is very limited.
So here’s a primer.
We know that the G spot is composed of tissue which resembles tissue in the male prostate gland. This tissue performs the same function in women it does in men: to produce prostatic fluid which can be ejaculated.
To reclaim the sexuality associated with the G spot, women need to understand the anatomy of their own bodies, and then explore how the G spot and related tissue functions during sexual arousal.
So let’s start with some basic assertions:
Every woman is capable of ejaculating.
Every woman is born with female prostatic tissue.
Every woman is capable of being stimulated, or stimulating herself in such a way she can learn how to squirt.
Equally, all men are capable of learning how to make a woman squirt.
The first step in every woman’s sexual journey to ejaculation is to understand that it’s entirely possible for all women to learn how to stimulate the G spot and ejaculate.
How to make a girl squirt
Learning how to ejaculate is a process which all women and their partners can enjoy, but an attitude of acceptance, enthusiasm and interest are very necessary.
And perhaps the first thing that you need to know about is the female anatomy which leads to the capacity to ejaculate or, as it’s becoming more commonly known, to “squirt.”
The tissue that allows ejaculation to take place is tissue which has become known as the urethral sponge.
This is prostatic tissue which produces fluid is actually located inside the erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra. This is the tissue which forms the G spot.
Most men know how to give a woman an orgasm, in other words, most men know how to make a woman come, through stimulation of the clitoris. But the clitoris is connected to the pudendal nerve, and orgasms which result from clitoral stimulation generally don’t produce ejaculation or squirting.
Also, orgasms produced by clitoral stimulation tend not to be emotional in nature, and as you know, many women can experience multiple orgasms through clitoral stimulation.
But the tissue in the vagina which can produce an orgasm is connected to the pelvic nerve, which is a different nerve complex, and certainly seems to convey a more emotional characteristic to vaginal or G spot orgasms.
Although it’s certainly a controversial idea, there is a sense in which vaginal orgasms are fuller and more rounded than clitoral orgasms. That’s not to say they are not better or worse, they are just different.
To suggest that vaginal orgasms are more “mature” or somehow “better” is reminiscent of Freud’s view that the clitoral orgasm was somehow immature and the vaginal orgasm was the mature orgasm which women needed to strive for. But this isn’t really the right way to express the difference: the truth is that getting into an argument about whether one type of orgasm is more mature or better than another is simply another way of oppressing female sexuality.
A much better approach is for women to experience these for themselves and decide how they like to receive stimulation, what kind of orgasm is most fulfilling, and what they enjoy during sexual pleasuring.
Particularly if a woman’s been used to coming – in other words, reaching orgasm or cumming – by clitoral stimulation she’s not likely to be squirting, and her man isn’t likely to know how to make a woman squirt.
She’s not likely to know what a G spot orgasm feels like, either.
So here we are, here’s how it feels: when a woman begins to enjoy combined stimulation of the clitoris and G spot – often with deep vaginal penetration – a blended orgasm begins to develop.
This seems to have an erotic feeling which is centred in the clitoris, but the emotions become longer, more fulfilling, more satisfying and more emotional. And after a blended orgasm, a woman often experiences a creative relaxation with a feeling of deep satisfaction and fulfillment.
Sexual connection with a partner together with loving arousal and orgasm isn’t necessarily the product of clitoral stimulation. But such connection usually comes with an orgasm produced by G spot stimulation. And the deeper quality of these orgasms is perhaps also reflected in the fact that a lot of women say that to enjoy G spot orgasms, to be fully aware of the possibility of their bodies, they need to be comfortable with sex, comfortable with being wild, uncomfortable with expressing their emotions.
Again, as you may well know, these are things that women have often been inhibited around.
The State Of Mind Needed To Reach A G Spot Orgasm
Emotional trust and safety is both necessary for and a product of G spot stimulation to orgasm. And the freedom to express oneself, to release, both physically and emotionally, is a necessary adjunct to squirting.
All of this requires a woman to really lose herself in the sensations that develop when she has an orgasm.
At the end of the day, to place the focus of this exploration solely on ejaculation is misleading. That’s because ejaculation depends on G spot stimulation, and G spot stimulation will only happen if the G spot is actually sensitive (or has been sensitized by sexual healing).
Let’s continue with our exciting exploration of the mysteries of making a woman squirt.
Knowing how to make a woman squirt can certainly transform your sex life completely.
One of the interesting things about the G spot is that it can numb out. Think how you sometimes see very harsh and fast thrusting methods, or extreme finger stimulation, depicted in videos of female ejaculation.
I’m guessing that when a woman has to be stimulated this hard, her G spot is basically numbed out through being abused. That might be why super-hard and fast stimulation is necessary to get it to respond at all.
You see, the thing is this: most experts on G spot stimulation talk about slowing down, about taking things slowly – an approach which really contrasts with most men’s desire to enter their partner, thrust hard, ejaculate and finish.
Certainly men who can slow down to match the pace of their women quickly discover that this can make sex a more pleasurable experience: basically because their woman has time to become much more aroused.
And when a woman is aroused, she is passionate – perhaps even more passionate than her man. So passionate, in fact, that her arousal makes her squirt.
As a guideline, it takes between 20 and 30 minutes of intimate contact and emotional connection for a woman to become aroused enough to enjoy penetration.
And apart from that simple fact, a lot of women would argue that foreplay begins long before a couple even get into bed together.
With long foreplay, women can orgasm with ejaculation if they’ve learned the appropriate techniques.
The Advantages Of Male Ejaculatory Control
I think the major difficulty for most men in learning to control ejaculation is controlling their urge to enter, thrust and ejaculate which, as you know, tends to be an extremely powerful instinctual urge that’s hard to resist.
But the advantages of not ejaculating, and going for longer lasting sexual arousal, do include the fact that a woman gets a kind of permission to relax into a space in which she may ejaculate.
And even better, she won’t be feeling any pressure to achieve a certain result (squirting or gushing) quickly.
And you’ll find Tantric techniques just as effective, if you care to learn them. And this is interesting, too.
Now, you can probably see that teaching a girl how to squirt is not as straightforward as you might have thought.
Women: Learning How to Squirt
One thing that’s absolutely essential for women who want to ejaculate – or indeed experience G spot orgasm – is that they are sufficiently aroused to tolerate G spot stimulation before you lay a finger on it.
If you think about it, sticking your finger straight onto woman’s G spot might be rather like having a finger stuck up your ass and your prostate rubbed before you’re sexually aroused – it doesn’t work, and it isn’t pleasant!
So assuming that your woman is aroused, probably by clitoral stimulation, that’s the point at which you can to take things to the next level.
And here you may run up against a major difference between men and women.
As you might have noticed (!) men and women seem to be turned on by different things.
For women, intimacy means a heart-heart connection, rather than a bodily connection. This is emotional intimacy, and it might be might be more important for a woman, at least initially, than physical intimacy, when making love to her man.
Because the interesting thing about emotional intimacy is that once a woman has established a real heart connection, the byproduct is sexual passion.
But for men, intimacy at the start of lovemaking tends to mean something different – physical intimacy. I’m sure you know how even the thought of intercourse can be sufficient to arouse a man to passion.
This is why it’s necessary for a man to slow down his sexual responses when he wants to make a woman squirt, or make her gush female ejaculate.
Video – how to make her squirt
Emotional safety and security
Although you might find it hard to understand as a man, the fact is that women are genetically programmed to need emotional safety and security before they can truly enter completely into their sexual nature.
Oddly enough, the G spot appears to be a key to unlocking part of a woman sexual nature and passion. As you’ll discover quite quickly, when you become expert at G spot stimulation, a whole load of emotional outpouring will be triggered.
I’ve mentioned before that stimulating and awakening the G spot can release the emotions associated with sexual wounds. But it can also release a woman’s need for intimacy. Your heart needs to be ready to open to hers.
Yet the interesting thing here is that men yearn for emotional connection just as much as women do: and for men as well, emotional connection through heart centredness can be a passport to erotic passion and orgasmic bliss.
Don’t underestimate the degree of satisfaction that you can get from relinquishing the need to ejaculate quickly and swiftly, and replacing it by a heartfelt desire for intimate connection in the space of pure passion.
As Deborah Sundahl says, … know that understanding women’s soulful eroticism and its expression, via the G spot, is one solution to the age-old problem of men and women having such a difficult time satisfying each other emotionally and sexually.
What this means in practice is that if you can’t find a way to explore the techniques of squirting in an intimate and emotionally connected space, you’re never going to be able to make a woman come with forceful ejaculation. You’re never going to be able to make a woman squirt.
And because of that, you are never going to experience the degree of passion and excitement during sexual activity that is your birthright – just as it is every man’s and woman’s birthright to enter into the state of extreme arousal and passion that lies deep in our sexuality.
For this reason alone, it’s worth changing your own sexual techniques and approach to suit your woman, so that the idea of female ejaculation becomes less of a theory, and more of a practical experience that you can both share.
By doing so, you’re going to generate intimacy and connection such as you have never known, intimacy and connection that go far beyond anything you’ve ever experienced, intimacy and connection which actually will show you the real meaning of being human in relationship with another human being.
Men have a part to play in female ejaculation as well as women!
Indeed, it’s often going to be you, the man, who’s stimulating his woman in such a way that she can squirt…
And in fact I suspect it’s often men who are the driving force, encouraging ladies to explore this most exciting path to orgasmic pleasure.
You see, the thing is, most men absolutely adore female ejaculation, both in theory and practice.
And even those men who doubt whether or not they are going like it seem to find that once they’ve experienced a woman’s ejaculate squirting out during orgasm, they want to experience it again and again!
So if you haven’t yet had the chance to help a woman reach the point of ejaculation – in other words, if you don’t know how to make her squirt – then this information should guide you to success.
But first of all, let’s look at
Why Men Find Female Ejaculation (Squirting) So Exciting
In fact, most men say female ejaculation is really exciting! It seems men get extremely excited when a woman comes with gushing fluid. (Sometimes, if a man’s never heard of female ejaculation, he thinks the woman’s urinating.)
So, clearly, being informed about female ejaculation is really important for men who want to enjoy this phenomenon.
Perhaps what underlies men’s excitement and high arousal is that men know when a woman ejaculates she’s reaching an intense level of pleasure. And since sex is almost always about such “release” for men, there’s a clear parallel here with female ejaculation.
And of course ejaculation is an obvious sign that a woman’s reached a powerful climax.
But there does seem to be something more about it than the sheer excitement of getting wet.
Perhaps this extra something is the very naughtiness of sex at its finest, appealing to our inner child, the part of each of us which loves sensuality and cares nothing for cleanliness or keeping things clean but just adores the powerful sensual experiences of lovemaking and orgasm.
Be Careful How You React When A Woman Gushes!
It’s important for men to realize that they need to be supportive here. Negative reactions may diminish their partner’s enjoyment of sex, and even her sex drive.
We all know that women are susceptible to men’s criticism and ridicule, and in a sensitive area like sexuality, it’s important to be sensitive and considerate of a woman’s feelings around this extraordinary issue.
Another viewpoint of female ejaculation! (Well worth watching!)
Helping A Woman Ejaculate Successfully
As a man, if you’ve never experienced female ejaculation before, it’s a good idea to maintain an open mind if your partner first raises the subject.
(If you’re raising the subject with your partner, it’s wise for you not to have too high expectations until your woman either knows more about the idea or has accepted it as something she can do and may even enjoy.)
Deborah Sundahl, one of the world’s greatest experts on female ejaculation, recommends that women learn how to ejaculate on their own first.
Thats because women who learn how to do it for themselves FIRST seem to have more success when they get together with their partner and try it.
But, men, be aware! Your partner may insist that you get involved right from the start. So you might want to encourage her to learn about squirting and how to do it.
How To Make A Woman Squirt !
What You Need To Know About The G Spot and Female Ejaculation (aka Squirting)
If you want to be successful helping a woman learn how to squirt, you must know about G spot anatomy, and how to stimulate her G spot. You must be completely receptive to what she says about the process and what you’re doing, and encourage her to speak up.
Perhaps most of all, you both must have a sense of humor about what you’re doing, and not be obsessed with achieving success.
Furthermore, you will almost certainly have a few tries which don’t result in squirting, but these will help you learn more about your partner, yourself, and your sexual interaction.
And because women like their menfolk to be engaged, and because they like time to talk about what’s going on, and will probably want to to explore female ejaculation verbally before they attempt it for real, you’re going to have to be considerate and listen to your partner as she explains her thoughts and feelings about the idea of squirting.
Video Men, Women, and Female Ejaculation
And men, don’t move too fast! Take it easy. Curb your enthusiasm about getting an outcome, or getting on with the job, and accept that the feminine mind and energy has a slower approach to these things!
Teach A Woman About Squirting & She Might Love You Forever!
Encouraging her to talk, drawing out her thoughts and feelings, will be very helpful for her, because it will help her understand exactly what is going on for her.
Now some of the interesting things that you need to keep in mind are these:
First of all, a woman is not likely to be able to succeed at female ejaculation if she has weak vaginal or PC muscles. Therefore, if her vagina feels loose, then she may need to do some Kegel exercises.
Second, she’s going to need to let go to be able to ejaculate – and that means letting go of preconditions, preconceptions, and inhibitions.
And if she’s afraid that she’s going to pee on you, she’s likely to hold back – and that will stop the process in its tracks. So she needs to empty her bladder before making love, and you need to reassure that shes not going to urinate… And tell her that even if she does, you really don’t care about it!
Third, G spot stimulation can have some unexpected effects. I mean, apart from you learning how to make a woman squirt.
For the G spot is a sensitive area, and has a nerve complex that seems to hold emotional and sexual wounding from the past in some way. Stimulating it may therefore bring up all kinds of emotional issues, including anger, grief, and joy.
If she erupts in rage after her G spot’s been stimulated, you need to be mature enough to accept that this is not about you, but about some legacy from her past which has left her with a sexual wound of some kind.
Remaining calm in such a situation takes great emotional maturity.
This woman talks about G spot trauma
So What Techniques Can You Use to Make A Woman Squirt?
Certainly you need to know what to do, because if your woman wants you to help her ejaculate, and you’ve no idea how to do it you’re not likely to be very successful!
So first of all find her G spot.
Next, start to stimulate her clitoris with your tongue (or fingers if that’s what rocks your boat).
By the way, all women have a G spot – so if she says she’s not feeling anything, she might need to do a bit of work on her own first – you can see some advice for women in this situation elsewhere on this website.
You may wonder what techniques you can use to stimulate a womans G spot once shes been aroused by clitoral stimulation.
Well, first of all she has to be really wet, so you might need some additional artificial lube.
Then you need to slide a finger in and gently stimulate her..
I think the one everybody knows is the “come here” gesture with the forefinger. Its a kind of crooked finger as if you are beckoning somebody towards you.
Essentially what you’re doing is finding a way of stroking the G spot from the part of it which is furthest away from you, moving towards the front of the vagina, in a way that your woman finds pleasurable.
If you’re sensitive to her level of sexual arousal – and most men find that they are – you’ll notice her arousal rising and falling as you try different techniques of stimulation on her G spot.
One of the techniques you often see recommended is to wipe your finger like a windshield wiper backwards and forwards across the area of the G spot from side to side.
There are lots of other techniques as well, some of which you can read about here.
So let’s suppose that she says she doesn’t actually feel anything. What are you going to do about it?
A woman can be completely unaware of her potential sensitivity in this area.
So if she feels nothing, you may be applying the wrong stimulation, or maybe she has a very small G spot (this applies to about 10% of women), or it may simply not be awakened yet. There’s some advice for this situation here.
You can see a video here on the same subject.
But generally, most men are going to find their womans G spot quite easily, and they will discover how best to stimulate it on the basis of how she reacts.
If she’s got sensitivity in the area of her G spot, she’s probably going to find it highly arousing if you stimulate her clitoris and G spot at the same time.
And then things are going to get more exciting.
Once you’ve noticed that her G spot is getting swollen with arousal, which is indicated by the change in the texture of the surface from ridged to smooth (with what seems to be almost like little nodules under your fingertips), move on.
Now, you can use your fingers to apply what can be described as a milking motion from the upper end of the G spot towards the front of it the part near the opening of her vagina.
And you can alternate this particular movement with a gentle and firm squeezing and rolling with pressing from side to side.
But The Best is Yet To Come
I guess it won’t surprise you to learn that it can be more exciting for your partner if you’re able to massage the G spot with the head of your penis.
The most sensitive area of the G spot varies from woman to woman: it can be very near the outside opening of the vagina, or it can be deeper inside on the top surface of the vagina (as the woman lies on her back).
This means you may find that switching from missionary position to rear entry (or some other position) allows you to stimulate her G spot more easily with your penis – this will depend to some extent on the shape of your erection, and whether it curves upwards or downwards or not at all.
Your lovemaking position will affect how easily you can stimulate her G spot with your penis. The ideal position varies between couples.
In any event experimentation is the order of the day, and when you find the best way to stimulate her using various slow and subtle movements, at least at first, she may experience pleasure so intense it makes her want to scream!
Into every life a little science must fall – even if you don’t really want it! But we can turn to science for an understanding of the purpose of the female orgasm, and the female ejaculation which can accompany orgasm.
So What’s Female Orgasm For?
Specifically, the question we want an answer to is this: “What is the purpose of the female orgasm?”
Indeed. Orgasm isn’t necessary for a woman to get pregnant, so what function does it serve? It’s not like male orgasm which is necessary for a man to impregnate a woman.
The first idea is that orgasm is simply a way of drawing semen into the uterus.
The orgasmic contractions of the vagina may ensure that sperm is drawn nearer the point of conception. Semen may be either sucked up into the uterus through the cervix, or drawn into the deeper recesses of the vagina. From there, it’s more likely that sperm will be able to travel through the cervix and into the uterus.
One of the things which supports this are studies on flowback. (That’s what seeps out of the vagina after sex.)
We know that when women achieve orgasm more or less at the same time as the man who is making love to them, flowback contains less sperm. Compared, that is, to flowback in women who don’t reach orgasm or who reach orgasm much sooner than the man with whom they are having sex.
Now that’s clear, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that aiding conception by encouraging semen retention is the function of the female orgasm – it’s only a hypothesis.
And indeed, if the purpose of the female orgasm was to ensure women became pregnant more easily, then surely many more women would reach orgasm during vaginal sex? Indeed, wouldn’t Mother Nature have provided a mechanism for this to happen automatically?
The second theory about the purpose of the female orgasm is rather peculiar – the suggestion being that it’s a way of enabling the woman to select a better quality mate.
This rather odd conclusion is based on studies of college women.
They seem to have more orgasms when they are having sex with men who have certain “higher status” attributes. Believe it or not, women have more orgasms with men who have a higher family income.
And there’s more! Other qualities which lead to more orgasms include greater physical attractiveness. And also, a woman who feels she is “being protected by her partner” or who “feels that her partner is a catch” will also have more orgasms. And also, it seems, “having a partner with broader shoulder width” is a stimulus to orgasmic bliss.
Now it just so happens that these are characteristics which indicate high “mate value”. In other words, they are signs of males who are a good catch. They have qualities which indicate they are more likely to be able to provide an environment in which children can survive and flourish.
In short, if women have more orgasms when making love to “quality men”, then perhaps having more orgasms is a factor in influencing women’s choice of mate.
And I guess women have more orgasms when they are more turned on. So the real issue here might be how sexually aroused a woman is by her partner.
The logic goes like this: women are more turned on by a man with greater financial wealth and good looks, so they have more orgasms. And when they have more orgasms, they instinctively know they have a better quality man. And this implies a survival advantage for the children.
And third theory is that female orgasm is just a “bonus”. A simple remnant from our evolution. Because the male and female genitals have the same embryonic origin, there’s got to be the potential for woman to reach orgasm hardwired into her body.
So perhaps, like the male nipple, the female orgasm is just an evolutionary quirk.
There are plenty of other theories of course. Maybe orgasm is a reward for having sex. That might serve the propagation of the species. Or maybe it has a role in pair bonding. That would keep a couple together.
They produce a viscous white secretion which comes out of the urethra when women are sexually excited – particularly when they reach orgasm.
It’s been called female ejaculate by Beverly Whipple, who was involved in the discovery of the G spot. When it’s chemically analyzed, this secretion is completely different to urine. So there’s no doubt it does NOT come from the bladder.
To be clear: what we are calling female ejaculate comes from the Skene’s glands during female ejaculation. By contrast, fluid which is squirted, or which gushes, from the urethra may come from the bladder.
Female ejaculate contains chemical components found in male semen, including creatinine, PSA or prostate specific antigen, prostatic acid phosphatase, zinc and glucose.
We are not sure what function female ejaculate serves, but it has survived our evolution.
So it might simply be a remnant of embryonic prostatic tissue in women – something similar to the male nipple.
But because it’s a biological or evolutionary structure which has NOT been selected out of the human physiology over the millenia of our evolution, maybe it has a purpose.
And indeed, it’s possible that female ejaculation does have an identifiable function.
Maybe the ejaculate, the secretion from the Skene’s glands, protects the female urethra from UTIs (urinary tract infection).
This would certainly be credible if it we could prove that female ejaculate contained antimicrobial compounds and other substances such as zinc which are known to inhibit bacterial growth. (No proof of that yet, I’m sorry to say.)
But maybe it’s not such a big step to believing that the female prostatic tissue or Skene’s glands were retained during evolution because of their advantageous effect on bacterial growth in the urethra.
The advantage being, in short, that women who could ejaculate fluid like this are less likely to suffer UTIs.
As all women know, UTIs can be easily produced by sexual intercourse. And obviously women without UTIs are likely to be healthier, likely to want more sex more often, and therefore more likely to become pregnant.
If you look at it in these terms, then there’s definitely some sort of evolutionary advantage to female ejaculation. But we don’t know for sure… And as always, not knowing what it’s for does not stop it feeling good!
No matter how implausible you might find the idea of female ejaculation, or squirting, the fact remains there’s no longer any doubt that women can ejaculate fluid from the urethra when they reach orgasm.
The question, I suppose, is why you’d want to do this?
And the answer seems to be that it’s extremely sexy for both the woman and her partner, and it can accentuate a feeling of emotional and physical release – and it gives you bloody good orgasms!
But there’s also something going on here about moving fully into the power of your own femininity, and exploring everything that your body has to offer you in the way of physical and sexual sensation. About finding out how to female ejaculate during lovemaking and intimacy.
And in addition, as women who have had this kind of orgasm can testify, there is an emotional quality of the G spot orgasm that goes to the heart of femininity and feminine desire; by expressing love or longing for partnership and intimacy and connection.
That longing for, or appreciation of, intimate connection is one of the most beautiful gifts that a woman has to offer a man (or, indeed, a female partner) and it is almost always the consequence of a G spot orgasm and knowing how to female ejaculate, perhaps in the presence of a man, perhaps not.
Now, as a woman you are probably well aware of the “normal” clitoral orgasm.
And indeed, throughout the extensive study of female sexuality that has been conducted in the 20th and 21st century, the female orgasm has almost always been associated with stimulation of the clitoris.
Yet recent research has identified two other kind of female orgasms – the vaginal orgasm, and the blended orgasm. There may be more, because people have spoken of orgasm is produced by stimulation of the cervix.
But let’s keep this simple: clitoral, vaginal, and blended. How do they relate to a girl squirting? How might they impact on your ability to discover how to make yourself squirt? Because, when all’s said and done, this can be a great experience for both him and her.
Sidebar: Video – A Woman’s Memory Of G spot Surges, Gushes, and Squirts!
Of course we know how clitoral orgasms are produced: by stimulation of the clitoris.
They tend to be very physical, they can be achieved through external stimulation and in some real sense they’re quite transient. A kind of “here today, gone next minute” orgasm. And they very rarely produce female ejaculation or squirting.
It’s hardly surprising to learn that vaginal orgasms are produced by stimulation of the G spot within the vagina. They have a different quality – deeply emotional, and profoundly fulfilling. These are the ones that produced the gushing of fluid.
And blended orgasm – well, that speaks for itself, being an orgasm that encompasses stimulation of both G spot and clitoris. And perhaps also, we might note in passing, stimulation of the cervix or uterus.
We know there are very few women who can experience orgasm through vaginal penetration and thrusting alone, but there are some. Around 15% apparently. They know how to make themselves come, sometimes how to ejaculate. Age (and experience) has its benefits! And at the other end of the spectrum there are some women who can only come through clitoral stimulation.
And let us not forget, of course, that there are other women – probably quite a high proportion of the population, in fact – who are totally unable to reach orgasm in any way.
Another thing we know is that a great many women are extremely frustrated that they don’t experience orgasm during intercourse, while their partners penis is inside them.
Indeed, the desire to come during sex is something that almost all women seem to share, but few women (probably less than 10%) actually experience.
We might note in passing that one of the reasons for this might be the fact that most men come too quickly for their partners orgasmic pleasure to be achieved through vaginal stimulation.
Indeed, most men don’t have very much staying power: indeed, most men will come long before the woman has received enough vaginal stimulation during intercourse to reach orgasm.
That’s because the average duration of intercourse – defined by the time at which the man ejaculates (which tends to put an end to sex) – is no more than 7 to 9 minutes.
Most women who can reach orgasm through vaginal stimulation require much more than 9 minutes of stimulation before they come in this way.
So there’s definitely a problem here: first, a mismatch between the sexes in terms of stamina and physiology; and second, a knowledge gap which means that many men and women don’t even know about the possibility of reaching orgasm through stimulation of the G spot, let alone the possibility of female ejaculation or, to put it more simply, knowing how to make a woman squirt or ejaculate.
Sidebar: Video – A Review of ALL The Research
But putting that aside for a moment, let’s think about what’s required for a woman to become more easily orgasmic, or to become orgasmic through penetration – whether that be by penis or finger – as well as clitoral stimulation?
Well, first of all, a woman has to have the desire to reach orgasm through G spot stimulation.
In other words she has to be willing to explore the possibility of learning how to female ejaculate and reach orgasm in this way.
Generally, I think, most women who explore this route to orgasmic pleasure are doing so because they’ve heard of the deeper emotional intensity of G spot orgasms – or perhaps because they’re fascinated by the concept of female ejaculation and want to know how to do it for themselves. Often their menfolk are interested and want to learn more about it.
One of the key things that underlies all of this exciting mystery is the fact that the clitoris and G spot are connected to different nerves. The nerve connected to the clitoris is the pudendal nerve, while the nerve connected to the G spot is the pelvic nerve. These nerves have very different functions.
And it’s the pelvic nerve which seems to be responsible for female ejaculation and G spot orgasm.
Interestingly enough, according to Deborah Sundahl, “the pudendal nerve is stimulated by the vulval area, including the clitoris, and triggers only the first third of the PC muscles. The majority of the PC muscles and the uterine muscles do not contract during a clitoral orgasm, and as these are the muscles that aid ejaculation, ejaculation does not occur. The contractions of the G spot stimulated PC muscles are also more powerful and more noticeable to your lover.”
So G spot stimulation, strong muscle contractions (which produce pleasurable sensations during orgasm), and indeed female ejaculation, go together.
It doesn’t mean that a woman who has a G spot orgasm is always going to squirt fluid a long way from her urethra; many women simply find that the female ejaculatory fluid – aka Amrita or the divine nectar – trickles from them, or maybe gushes out, rather than squirts.
But then that’s what you’d expect – if you think of male orgasms, they’re not all the same, so why should female orgasms all be the same?
Yet women say that when they’ve learned how to female ejaculate, they develop the feeling that it can happen every time they come.
Now, if you want to know how to ejaculate when you have an orgasm, there are plenty of informational videos and books around which are well worth looking at.
But one thing is clear: relying on clitoral stimulation alone is not enough.
You need to start stimulating the sensitive erectile tissue around your urethral opening and just inside the vagina on the upper wall. This is the clitoral urethral vaginal complex (CUV complex). That might be a new name for the G Spot!
Most women find it quite strange when they start trying to reach orgasm by stimulating this area – but with time, and relaxation, and through enjoying the physical pleasure and feelings produced by stimulation, it’s possible to become more easily orgasmic in this area.
And of course, the next step in the process is moving from G spot orgasm to ejaculation. Instead of placing emphasis on stimulating the clitoris during sexual arousal, whether it be solo or partnered, start to place the emphasis on the G spot.
And be liberated in the expression of your sexuality and the movements of your body; enter fully into the experience. Move in whatever way you feel you need to move, and if you need to make sounds, let them come freely.
By opening up to the energy that’s moving through your body, and by rhythmically stimulating the G spot, you’re going to find that ejaculatory fluid builds up in the tissue of your female prostate gland. This is what leads to female ejaculation.
The key to squirting is to push out this fluid just before the orgasm takes place – and most women prefer to have nothing inside the vagina at the point where they begin to push the ejaculate out.
Knowing the exact point at which to push takes some time. But once the muscle movements become involuntary, and a woman is familiar with the sensations, she can ejaculate at will.
G Spot Stimulation Is Emotional in Nature
But then women are essentially more open to emotions than men – a sweeping generality, but probably true – and indeed, it’s entirely possible that many of women’s feelings about life, about self, about family, and even about the world, are rooted in the lover energy of a woman’s sexuality.
That’s a short way of saying that eroticism and sexual energy is perhaps at the root of many of the longings and feelings that women experience.
So if the G spot is a focal point for stimulating the expression of these feelings – and certainly women who come through G spot stimulation frequently report that G spot orgasms are profoundly emotional in nature – it follows that if a woman does not enjoy G spot orgasms then she might be limiting her basic nature and her basic need to express herself in an emotional way.
As Deborah Sundahl puts it: “When you can ground your soulful and naturally ‘murky’ feminine desires into your physical, sexual center [she means the G spot], you no longer need to put the responsibility on your mate to connect your emotional longings to your sexual self.”
A lot of women seem to feel that releasing themselves to the joy of female ejaculation is almost “too sexual” – that they might, perhaps, be branded a slut or a loose woman …. Well, those cultural stereotypes have no place in a healthy sex life, especially where you are stretching your sexual boundaries beyond the conventional into the realms of female ejaculation…..
The truth is that a woman’s sex drive, when released, is more powerful than a man’s. Female ejaculation looks wild and untamed. It is arousing for both man and woman. And getting in touch with that wild and untamed level of sexuality can transform a woman’s image of herself – after all, this is probably her true self. As opposed to the one that society has conditioned, I mean.
Every response that comes from G spot stimulation has something to teach you about how you’re feeling, and probably also about the emotions and feelings that you’ve repressed to fit in with society.
Whether you are looking at the possibility of learning how to ejaculate or not, that means that the best possible response to them is to be wild and express yourself in whatever way comes naturally…….!
G spot Stimulation With Toys
Of course is not always easy to stimulate your own G spot, and you might not have a willing partner around with a penis or finger that he can use to do it for you.
In which case you might want to use some kind of sex toy – they can provide clear and direct stimulation on the G spot….. Although some women say that the excitement of having a partner with them helps them reach the point of squirting, and it just isn’t the same when they are using a sex toy.
As you might have seen, the best G spot toys are curved at one end – perhaps in a way designed to resemble the “come hither” gesture of the traditional crooked finger movement that was always supposed to be the best way to stimulate the G spot.
But any toy that has a large lip at one end can do it as well – and in watching women stimulate their G spots on the Internet, one often gets the impression that thickness can be helpful as well….. (Oh dear, perhaps size does matter after all!)
As you may have discovered in another post, G spot massage can be a very healing experience which can deal with the residue of trauma and emotional difficulties associated with sexual issues from the past.
Any G spot massage requires trust between the giver and the receiver. So it’s essential that there is a degree of intimacy, and that if you’re feeling any emotional charges of any kind – anger or fear or sadness – towards your partner, that you deal with them before you begin the G spot massage.
It’s also essential that the person giving the massage is prepared for the discharge of emotions associated with past trauma, which can appear in the here-and-now as though they were to do with the person giving the massage right here, right now.
That can be quite difficult to deal with unless you are extremely emotionally mature and able to hold the projections of the person to whom you are giving the G spot massage.
A lot of men have said to me at this point – “well, with such potential problems and difficulties why would I even try this?”
The answer is simple: if you want the pleasure of female ejaculation, and if you want to be a part of your partner’s journey to female ejaculation, if you want to be a part of learning how to make a woman squirt, then you need to go through this process.
And bear in mind that it’s a very intimate process: few couples have the chance or the opportunity or the knowledge to be able to go this deep with each other.
And in going this deep with each other lies the opportunity for great sexual healing.
Sidebar: Video – Men Healing the G Spot
The G Spot Massage – the Path to Making Her Squirt
Now please don’t understand me: this isn’t all about learning how to female ejaculate or making a woman squirt. It’s also about sexual healing and achieving greater intimacy.
And G spot massage is the essential part of this process. Here are some notes on how to do it….
First, it’s important to have intimacy and connection between giver and receiver – and it’s also important for the woman who is receiving a G spot massage to feel sexually aroused and emotionally comfortable; in particular she must feel ready for the giver of the massage to enter her vagina with a finger.
When she’s ready and she’s signaled that it is OK to start, the giver can insert his or her finger and start to massage the woman’s G spot. It’s helpful if the two participants maintain eye contact.
When the giver’s gentle strokes and circular motions of the fingertip pad on the G spot find a spot which the recipient identifies as tender, or numb, it’s fair to assume there’s a block there that needs to be worked through.
And so firm touch to this area from the giver, in response to which the receiver can communicate about what’s going on and what she’s feeling, will help to allow the discharge of “negative” body memory and the restoration of pleasurable sensations.
One helpful technique is for the receiver to voice the experience that she is having: so in other words, rather than raging, or feeling sad, she can step “to the side” of her feeling and recount what is going on for her.
In other words, she might say “I’m feeling sadness, or unfeeling rage, or feeling joy.” In this way, the dumping of historical emotion on the person giving the massage is avoided.
But in any event, the giver needs to keep gentle but firm pressure on the spot that is triggered and emotional memory. Continued massage on that spot should allow the release of trauma and body memory.
It’s possible, of course, that the person receiving the massage feels nothing. In which case the giver should discontinue making circular motions, but apply firm pressure all around the G spot. And while he or she does this, the recipient can say what she’s feeling. No matter what it is, she should be encouraged to breathe in through the feelings and breathe out relaxation.
If the receiver feels pain, then she should relax her G spot and PC muscles whilst the giver presses firmly on the painful area. It may be that emotions come up such as sadness or longing for intimacy, or loneliness or even despair.
And of course it’s also possible that the receiver will feel pleasure in response to the massage – in which case the G spot massage can be continued for as long as the receiver desires.
Female Ejaculation – Women Squirting?
Most women spend a comparatively small amount of time massaging their G spot or exploring the internal anatomy of their vagina with their fingers.
But for sexual and emotional healing, more extensive massage is needed – and there is always a time when it’s right to start, a time when a woman knows that she now has reached the point where she can explore the wounds she suffered in the past.
Sadly, of course, not all women explore their G spot even then. However, the rewards of doing so can be considerable.
“I had issues and wounds around sexual abuse. I numbed or shut down and could not stay present during sex. I couldn’t feel pleasurable sensations. I’ve ejaculated pain and I’ve ejaculated a lot of sexual excitement.mostly it’s about intimacy with my partner. If I’m in a really beautiful, safe, and open space with him, then I can ejaculate… Ejaculating is cleansing and erotic. the emotional aspect is like a deep surrender… After ejaculating and orgasming three or four times in one session, I become sensitive to my environment, in tune and centred. The orgasmic energy feels more like a healing throughout my body, akin to the higher healing of goddess love or a state of bliss.”
William Reich said that a person’s emotional health directly controlled or determine their ability to reach and experience full body orgasm.
I suspect he was entirely correct – and fortunately for all of us, the legacy of his teachings have come down to us through Margo Anand, who has invented a system of healing based on Reich’s theory of body armoring and the work of Alexander Lowen.
There are in fact many therapists around these days who specialize in gentle massage techniques, but clearly if you are looking to choose somebody to do this intimate work with you, you need to be very careful about your levels of trust and your boundaries.
The names of therapists who developed the discipline of erotic genital massage which you might recognize include Joseph Kramer, founder of The Body Electric School, Kenneth Ray Stubbs, who worked at the Institute For the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, and Annie Sprinkle. You can look at their websites and get an idea of what old established and ethical practitioners say and think about genital massage.
Then, if you search for your own body worker or massage therapist, you will be better placed to find one who is reliable, knows what they’re doing, and can be trusted.
Even so, you’ill want to interview them carefully, for obvious reasons. You want to understand their background, their training, how long they’ve been doing this work, and why they do it.
A careful interview will give you a strong feeling of whether or not you’re comfortable with an individual, and whether or not you want to engage them to help you in this most sensitive of all areas.
The G spot is a gateway to a more profound sexual experience than it’s possible to imagine – at least until you start exploring this gateway.
But a lot of women start to explore their G spot, and find that with a little bit of stimulation they’re unexpectedly entering into a world of painful memories and traumatic or emotional events from their past.
But this is a necessary part of learning how to make a girl squirt. As Deborah Sundahl says, “these women want to have sex with their partners and be open and trusting, but instead they feel an awful vulnerability that can end up causing distance and even rejection of the very people they seek connection with.”
So what’s going on here? (You might well wonder… I guess you thought this was all about learning how to make a girl squirt. But part of that is establishing the sexual trust and confidence which a woman needs to feel before she can fully express her own sexuality.)
Well, the fact of the matter is that the statistics of sexual violence against women in almost every society are horrendous.
Even if most women don’t experience rape, most women live in a culture where the female body is regarded as a sexualized object. Think how much cosmetic surgery is offered to women to prevent aging, or look younger or sport bigger breasts. Even labiaplasty is now available as an option to neaten what are natural female genitalia! All this is to make a woman’s body more sexually pleasurable or attractive to men.
These things strongly suggest that the female body is regarded as an object incapable of valid sexual expression in its own right – or perhaps that it is sexually inferior to the male body.
And those of us who know about body memory will be only too well aware that emotional and sexual wounds can be stored physically in the body.
Body memory was a concept developed in the 1940s by Wilhelm Reich, a pioneer sexologist and psychologist, who suggested that emotional trauma could be stored as memories in the muscles and organs, causing them to tense up and cramp, blocking the free flow of energy, and producing muscular blocks called “body armoring”.
It’s also clear from people who work in this field that memory of both emotional and physical wounding is somehow held in every cell of the body: it’s no surprise, then, that the emotional scars of sexual abuse or misuse – even every act of unwanted but permitted intercourse – could be stored as a “body memory” in the G spot and the PC muscles.
Although the field of psychotherapy is more than hundred years old, healing of trauma is a new field which is only developed in recent times. So there is much to learn about healing trauma in the body at every level – and then there’s the much more esoteric field of healing trauma stored in the genitalia and associated tissues.
Suffice it to say, however, that massage of the G spot is a technique that can be beneficial to the healing of sexual trauma and sexual wounding.
Women whose G spot is insensitive – a condition frequently referred to as “numbed out” – may find that massage of the G spot allows the whole area to open up again so it can feel sexual pleasure and sexual energy. Indeed, simple awareness of the potential of this area can actually increase the sensitivity of the G spot. And that is the first step on the road to discovering how to make a girls squirt, how to make a woman female ejaculate. And sexual experiences do not come much better than that!
But along the way the expression of those experiences whose traumatic legacies stored in G spot is (probably) inevitable. And if you want to show her how to squirt, this is something you need to get over, or through. And you will collect the dividends of taking the time and trouble….
Emotional Blocks to G Spot Sensitivity
Deborah Sundahl, author of Female Ejaculation and G Spot, has written powerfully of her own experience with G spot healing.
In her book she describes how she passed up two opportunities for experienced massage therapists who were experienced in sexual healing to give her a G spot massage because she wasn’t able to trust them. She didn’t have enough trust in them to allow them to conduct this intimate and sacred work. Only by experimenting on her own with a crystal wand was Deborah able to overcome her reluctance and emotional separation of mind and body.
She began a G spot massage session using her own crystal wand, and noticed there was a sensitive and painful area of her G spot, which was highly uncomfortable when she put pressure on it. Over a period of time she discovered that it stopped hurting as she massaged it more and more.
Next she found that her mental desire for love and sex were merging – she gives the impression that previously she’d kept them separate, not allowing her heart to engage in sex acts, or to have warm feelings of love mingled with sexual expression.
Clearly this was some kind of sexual healing taking place through her G spot massage.
She goes on to describe how in one experience of self-healing she managed to weave together a series of images of her ideal lover and her enjoying sexual activity, and as she did so she had an orgasm. This was, as she describes it, “lovely, warm and intense”.
But then, she says, she was overcome with a deep sense of utter devastation. This seems to have been an emotional state where she experience a loss of self, of violence, of being consumed by nothingness, or death, or fear: whatever it was, it was clearly a traumatic memory from the past.
Now bear in mind that Deborah was working on her own, and didn’t have support.
If she’d been doing the G spot healing work which triggered this traumatic memory with a partner present, recovering her emotional stability might been easier (although in all honesty such things can sometimes trigger a crisis in the relationship).
This is the hazard of G spot healing.
The traumatic memories can be stimulated – and they then need somewhere to go. That might be via emotional discharge onto a loved partner, a process which is hardly “fair” if it relates to historical events. But such is the way of the human mind.
And that’s one possible issue for couples who are doing healing sessions which involve G spot massage: that they may plunge into the emotional residue or consequence of a long past traumatic experience. In fact, there are techniques you can use to avoid stepping into this void while still experiencing the healing that is available from G spot massage.
But for any woman trying out G spot massage, making sure that you are not alone while you pursue your quest for healing and/or female ejaculation, is clearly a sensible step.
G Spot Healing – How to Make a Girl Squirt
Now of course this isn’t just about the man. But many women find the support of their beloved to be essential in the exploration of G spot massage and the discovery of female ejaculation.
Equally, other women prefer to explore these things on their own.
But if a woman chooses to have you massage her G Spot, with the object of sexual healing, then you are not only helping her learn how to squirt, gush or female ejaculate, but you are also able to provide a feeling of safety and emotional support.
In any event, doing this work with another human who opens herself up to you sexually is a way of re-establishing trust and connection.
But bear in mind that not every G spot massage is going to release emotional trauma or historical sexual issues! Sometimes a G spot massage really is just about clearing sexual energy and letting love flow.
And so, if you’re the person who is fortunate enough to be giving your girl a G spot massage, then your responsibility is to make sure that she feels safe and trusts you. You also need to be sure that you know to how to give her a G spot massage and – even more importantly – that you really do know how to make your girl squirt. This way, she will benefit from the possibility of sexual healing through the touch you are giving her.
As you probably know by now, the clitoris – or at least, what we call the clitoris, i.e. that tiny little pearl that we can see nestling between the upper folds of the labia – is actually only a small part of a much larger organ that goes deep around the vagina.
The important thing about this, from the point of view of the female orgasm, is that there seems to be an enormous network of erectile tissue, rather similar to the erectile tissue of the penis, in the urethral sponge, and the so-called bulbs that lie underneath the labia.
At the same time as the structure of the clitoris was being researched, other researchers were publishing an analysis of the history of female ejaculation, which was known as far back in history as the ancient Greeks. Perry and Whipple are the pioneers in this area.
(How extraordinary that both the structure of the clitoris and the phenomenon of female ejaculation have been effectively suppressed in the history of medical science.)
But rather than dwell on what that might mean, let’s move on to the more optimistic viewpoint that exists today: medical students are being taught about the extent of the clitoris, and hopefully the power of the Internet has spread information about the glorious experience of female ejaculation.
What are squirting orgasms and female ejaculate?
It’s a very good question, and one clue to the answer comes from looking at the chemical composition of the fluid which a woman ejaculates the moment of orgasm – or rather, the fluid which a woman is able to ejaculate at the moment of orgasm, if she stimulated in the right way. This is what is known as squirting, or as a squirting orgasm.
But it isn’t a simple answer: one thing that has confused analysis of the female ejaculatory fluid is that it may flow either into the bladder (which effectively is backwards) or outwards through the urethral opening in which case it’s expelled into the outer world, a phenomenon that’s often been mistaken for urination.
The point about this is that when a woman clamps down with the muscles of her pelvis, perhaps because she feels that she is about to urinate during sex, any female ejaculate that might otherwise have been expelled is going to be forced backwards into the bladder. (You can see that knowing how to squirt is essential for a girl who wants to maximize sexual pleasure in this way.)
This retrograde or backwards ejaculation can confuse chemical analysis of the fluid that would otherwise leave her body at the moment of orgasm – and it has also led to confusion about the quantity of fluid that a woman’s ejaculating.
Analyzing urine in the bladder is a bit misleading here. It’s the fluid that’s ejaculated which can provide more clues as to the nature of the tissue from which it comes, and indeed the nature of female ejaculation itself.
The most important work in this area may have been done by Dr Zaviacic, working in Slovakia, who published a detailed research project on the female prostate tissue, backed up by dozens of photographs showing its structure.
He has been able to confirm that the female prostate is in fact completely functional, a whole organ, and produces fluid which includes prostate markers such as prostate-specific antigen. It also appears to produce hormones. But its primary function, without question, is to produce female ejaculate.
How extraordinary – this goes against everything that we might have expected. Yet, as far back as 1948 a detailed analysis of the structure of the female prostate – then called paraurethral glands – revealed how they open out into the urethra. This work also revealed that there are three distinct types of “female prostate”…. a fact which hardly matters, but which demonstrates that all women do indeed have this tissue to a greater or lesser extent.
So what is female ejaculate?
A very important question! And the simple answer is that it’s a clear liquid, which is watery, but is definitely not the same as urine or vaginal lubrication. And why would it be? It’s produced by prostatic tissue, whereas your in this produced by the kidneys, and vaginal lubrication is produced by the wall of the vagina.
It appears that female ejaculate and male ejaculate have a lot in common, chemically, although there is no semen or sperm in female ejaculatory fluid. The taste and smell of the fluid appears to vary throughout a woman’s menstrual cycle, but it certainly differs from the taste and smell of urine. And its function? One suggestion is that it is antimicrobial…
Women have glandular tissue below the bladder and surrounding the urethra that appears to be homologous to the male prostate. This tissue (also called “female prostate” or Skene’s glands) appears to the source of a viscous, white secretion, which exits from the urethra upon sexual stimulation in some women. Analysis of this secretion (also known as “female ejaculate”), and comparison with pre-coital urine from the same women, revealed that its composition was unlike urine and often contained components also found in male seminal fluid (minus the sperm). The female ejaculate had lower levels of creatinine, but had elevated levels of prostate specific antigen, prostatic acidic phosphatase, prostate specific acid phosphatase, and glucose. The functional importance of female ejaculate has yet to be fully elucidated. It is possible that retention of a prostatic tissue homolog and its glandular secretion in women is merely a vestige of development and differentiation from an embryonic, gender-neutral body plan. We hypothesize that female ejaculation has a unique function in producing a secretion into the urethra that provides protection from urinary tract infections (UTIs). We further predict that female ejaculate contains antimicrobial compounds including elements such as zinc. We also hypothesize that retention of prostatic tissue and an ability to ejaculate its glandular secretion were maintained in women because these traits provided an evolutionary advantage. Specifically: (1) women who could ejaculate antimicrobial secretions into the urethra were less likely to suffer UTIs (particularly coitus-induced UTIs), (2) women without UTIs were more likely to be receptive to coitus at a greater frequency, (3) women engaging in frequent coitus were more likely to become pregnant, and (4) women who became pregnant often were more likely to successfully reproduce the species.
What of the G spot?
Accepting that the tissue surrounding the urethra is of two types: prostatic tissue in the female prostate glands and erectile tissue contained within the clitoris, it now appears that the G spot is made up of an area which contains both of these anatomical structures. So it may be that the G spot is not in fact an unique organ in its own right, but just a manifestation of the presence of the female prostate and erectile tissue of the clitoris.
In other words, it may be an area that can be stimulated by a finger or an erect penis, rather than a specific organ. Deborah Sundahl, however, specifically says that “the G spot is not merely a spot on the wall of the vagina, but an organ one can feel and stimulate through the vaginal wall”.
In fact, as any man or woman who stimulated the G spot can confirm, during sexual stimulation the texture of the G spot changes from “ridgy” and rough to smooth and lumpy, almost as though there are little nodules underneath it… And this appears to represent the swelling of the prostatic tissue under the influence of sexual arousal.
Certainly different women have different size G spots: and indeed, even in the same woman, the size of the G spot can differ from sexual experience to sexual experience. Sometimes the G spot is small and delicate, protruding only slightly into the vagina; at other times, and in different women, the G spot is large enough to protrude significantly into the vagina, perhaps even so far as to be visible just beyond the entrance to the vagina.
Men and women alike often say they can’t find the G spot. This is probably because they don’t know what they’re looking for! And in addition, it’s true to say that not all women’s G spots are equally sensitive. In fact, the sensitivity varies enormously – some can be nearly numb, and some can be extremely sensitive. We’ll look at this later on.
So what’s the difference between clitoral and G spot orgasms?
Most of us have learned that the clitoris is the way to pleasure a woman. But the fact is that the G spot can be the source of orgasmic pleasure – and as I mentioned above, it’s sensitivity comes from the pelvic nerve rather than the pudendal nerve which serves the clitoris.
That results in a very different sensation for a woman who is receiving G spot stimulation than when she is receiving clitoral stimulation.
It was Alice Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John Perry, who wrote a book called The G-Spot, in 1982, who were responsible for coming up with the term “the G spot”. They were actually also responsible for identifying the different nerve supply, the nature of what happens when you see a girl squirting, of female ejaculation, and the different quality of the orgasm produced by stimulation of this area.
In her workshops, Deborah Sundahl offers women the chance to see their G spot, so they can discover what it looks like. And then, having shown women that they do indeed have a G spot, she takes them through an exercise which will awaken its sensitivity.
Here’s a diagram essential for all would-be squirters:
Awakening the G spot will, she claims, allow the women to enjoy penetration much more. But on first stimulation of their G spot, some women report that they feel nothing, and some women report that it feels uncomfortable – just like they need to pee.
These are all necessary steps in learning how to squirt, or, if you are a man, learning how to make a woman squirt. If you or your partner is ever going to learn how to squirt, you have to break through, or move over or around the initial discomfort and inhibition.
To start, you need to know that the G spot is an area of tissue which has a complex of nerve junctions that seem to hold the energy of sexual wounding. No wonder that it may feel numb or uncomfortable.
So what’s the G spot, source of female ejaculation, actually feel like? Well, the first few times a woman (or her partner) explores her G spot, she may feel an area of tissue that is different inside her vagina; with ridges on its surface which tend to disappear as a woman becomes more sexually aroused. (Read more on this here.)
But often she will say that the G spot itself feels numb, or uncomfortable, or that she’s not getting any pleasure from stimulating it.
Another idea about the G Spot
Could it be that the G spot is just part of the clitoris? We now know that the clitoris surrounds the vagina. See the picture below for details about this. You can see how the clitoral legs surround the vaginal barrel. Then watch the video for even more information on this.
Laci Green On The Vagina, Clitoris & G Spot
Sensitizing the G Spot: How A Woman Can Squirt
With more touch and contact on her G spot, and gentle massage with a finger, it’s possible for a woman to become more sexually aroused. At first, of course, it’s possible that such stimulation of the G spot may simply seem like a mechanical exercise. It may even be devoid of feeling. And it may not feel anything like stimulation of her clitoris.
But as a woman – or her partner – continues to stimulate her G spot, she will most likely begin to feel something more profound.
Sensations may pass down her legs, and she may start to feel genuine arousal which makes her want to stimulate her clit as well. These are all great first steps in the process of learning how to squirt, or, if you are the lucky partner, in discovering how to make a woman squirt. (This may be the best thing you ever do sexually for your girl – helping her learn how to squirt.)
As you go on with continued stimulation, the texture of the G spot will change: it becomes much more smooth. And small bursts of sensations down her legs will indicate that her arousal is increasing, and that ejaculation is possible.
With continued stimulation of her G spot, as she alternately relaxes and pushes (that is, pushing out as though she’s trying to pee), ejaculatory fluid will continue to build.
And then of course when the G spot is swollen, when it is full of ejaculatory fluid, and the erectile tissue around her urethra is full of blood, the woman can “push out” as if she was trying to pee… though she won’t in fact do so.
This state of arousal, combined with relaxation, while a woman stimulates her G spot, can lead to female ejaculation even without orgasm. This information is important for any man wanting to know how to make a girl squirt.
You see, women are restrained by cultural values from being fully sexual. In fact, culturally, the belief still lingers at some level that being blatantly and openly sexual is somehow unfeminine, even inappropriate, for women.
And raised with the influence of the Internet, many young women are growing up with the idea that they must do whatever their man wants, regardless of how they feel about it, with added pressure from the cultural shame which comes from this. You see, in our culture there is still a belief underpinning female sexuality that a woman should be a “good girl”.
And being a good girl definitely doesn’t allow for the uninhibited emotions and experience of female ejaculation.
The Clitoris – by Laci Green
Learning How To Squirt
So let’s start with some of the basics: just what exactly is female ejaculation?
At the simplest level, it’s necessary to understand that female ejaculation is a natural and beautiful experience, although perhaps a somewhat mysterious one for the majority of women (and men) who haven’t experienced it.
But when you look beyond the individual experience of squirting, or not knowing how to squirt, what you come to understand is that female ejaculation, also known as squirting or gushing, is a natural sexual response for the feminine body.
And learning how to make a woman squirt goes well beyond the physical process of ejaculation, because it serves as an entry point for exploration of the deeper mysteries of female sexuality and femininity.
How to Make Your Girl Squirt
Exploration of the G spot and female ejaculation – otherwise known as squirting – started in the 1980s. You might wonder why we were so slow to discover female ejaculation and squirting, let alone the ways in which men could help a woman to squirt. Why was this knowledge about female sexual anatomy and female ejaculation so hard to obtain, and so late in coming (no pun intended!)
Who knows? But whatever the reasons for this, there were several groundbreaking studies in the 1980s which not only explored the nature of female sexual anatomy, but also the nature of female ejaculation.
The first study was conducted by Josephine Lowndes Sevely, who recorded details of the history of female ejaculation. Interestingly enough, she discovered that female ejaculation was known about, explored and discussed as long ago as the 17th century. Even the origin of female ejaculatory fluid (the female prostate) was known about around this time!
A second study by the Federation For Feminist Women’s Healthcare Centres revealed that the structure of the clitoris is much larger than anybody had previously known – a large proportion of it being hidden inside the body around the vaginal barrel.
The third significant discovery was made by Perry and Whipple, who identified a particularly sensitive area on the upper wall of the vagina which they nicknamed the G spot (after German researcher Ernst Grafenberg). They discovered that this spot appeared to be responsible for producing a particular type of orgasm different to the clitoral orgasm, and stimulating female ejaculation as well.
Various studies followed, including chemical analysis of female ejaculatory fluid.
In most women the prostate is near the external urethral opening. The female prostate is known to produce and also to store prostatic fluid in ducts which drain into the urethra. It also produces serotonin. Female ejaculate can be ejaculated from the female urethra during sex; it’s a fluid with a clear, milky, or yellowish coloration and a distinct musky or pungent scent; it contains Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA), Prostatic Acidic Phosphatase (PAP), Prostate Specific Acid Phosphatase (PSAP), Glucose, Creatinine, blood Urea Nitrogen, Potassium, Sodium and Chloride. Women who ejaculate during orgasm say it is sometimes clear and odorless and sometimes times thick and pungent. All women have a prostate gland so they all produce ejaculate, even if it seeps out unnoticed during sexual activity – especially at the moment of orgasm. Fluid in the prostate is released or expelled during orgasm as a woman’s pelvic muscles contract. Fluid released during ejaculation can a few drops, a teaspoonful or as much as two cups, according to some exponents of the art…who knows? It may be that these women are actually urinating. But the female prostate produces fluid while a woman is sexually aroused, so multiple releases of fluid can occur. This may account for the larger volumes of fluid.
Although all of these studies (and many more) seem to be provide conclusive proof of the existence of the G spot, and make explicit the distinction between fluid produced by female prostatic tissue and urine, in recent times different researchers have taken up the challenge of research into the G spot, and there are some who are now beginning to suggest that not only does the G spot not exist, but that female ejaculatory fluid is actually urine. (it’s not!)
Where we stand at the moment is in the midst of a vigorous debate between supporters and believers on one hand and the skeptics on the other!
For me, one of the most compelling and conclusive pieces of evidence about the genuine nature of female ejaculation is the fact that anyone who’s experienced it, as my partner and I have, will know the fluid which gushes from a woman at the moment of orgasm tastes and smells quite different to urine. We also know, from personal experience, that the G spot can produce an orgasm without clitoral stimulation.
Furthermore, when an orgasm is produced by a combination of clitoral and G spot stimulation, it combines the qualities of the clitoral orgasm and the vaginal orgasm.
So this really isn’t an act of faith: it’s an act of personal experience.
The Mystery Of Why Not All Women Squirt
One of the reasons that people seem to think female ejaculation doesn’t exist is because not all women ejaculate. Or at least, not all women appear to ejaculate.
But the fact of the matter is that all women can ejaculate, but they may not be aware of it.
The fact is that when men know how to make a woman squirt, they can make love in a way which helps women to produce a trickle of fluid from the urethra at or around the time of orgasm which far exceeds their usual vagina lubrication. The main requirements for this are romantic loving sex that extends over a long period of time, close intimacy, and slow and gentle G spot stimulation over a prolonged period.
When women gush (or even trickle) they may feel that they’ve urinated, because they don’t understand what this fluid is.
Also, we now understand that women can sometimes be so resistant to the idea of releasing fluid during sexual activity that they “clamp down” on the emission of the fluid so it’s forced backwards, up into the bladder… which probably explains why some researchers maintain that female ejaculate is merely some kind of diluted urine.
By now, I am sure you can see this is a complicated area, and somewhat controversial too. But Deborah Sundahl has spent a lot of time and energy teaching women how to squirt and educating women about the possibility of female ejaculation, and I’m quite sure that she knows what she’s talking about!
So when she says that one reason some women produce only small amounts of ejaculatory fluid is because a woman may be conditioned to clamp down with her pelvic muscles to prevent its release, I believe her. Often women do this because they think they “need to pee”.
But learning how to make a girl squirt, or for the women herself, learning how to squirt, is a delicate area, for sure.
Another aspect of this whole thing is the practical aspect of PC muscle control, and whether these muscles are generally tense or relaxed. Dr Francisco Cabello has done a study in which he tested urine in the bladder for PSA (prostate specific antigen) before and after sex.
He demonstrated very clearly that women who don’t ejaculate show more PSA in their urine after orgasm than before. This seems to indicate that a lot of women clampdown on their ejaculation, and the fluid is forced back into the bladder.
Give Yourself Permission: Learn How To Squirt!
When a woman decides that she wants to ejaculate, she makes a conscious choice which gives her permission and freedom to fully explore the capacity and ability of her female body to do what it is capable of doing. And in doing so – in other words, by choosing to ejaculate – she will increase not only her own sexual pleasure, but the pleasure of her partner. For most men are very keen on knowing how a girl can gush, and given the chance want to learn how to make their woman squirt.
Equally, if a woman chooses not to ejaculate, she has taken control of her sexuality in a different way.
But to remain ashamed of ejaculation, and to doubt the reality of it, or to fear it because of embarrassment about releasing fluid, is a pathway that serves nobody, including the woman and her partner.
The mysteries of female ejaculation – squirting – explained!