Good question. So let’s start with some of the basics: just what exactly is female ejaculation?
At the simplest level, it’s necessary to understand that female ejaculation is a natural and beautiful experience, although perhaps a somewhat mysterious one for the majority of people who haven’t experienced it.
But when you look beyond the experience for women who are ejaculating, what you come to understand is that it’s actually a natural sexual response for the feminine body.
Indeed, its meaning goes well beyond the physical process of ejaculation, and it appears to serve as an entry route to the deeper mysteries of the nature of femininity.
Exploration of the G spot and female ejaculation – otherwise known as squirting – started in the 1980s. It’s extraordinary that explorations of female sexual anatomy and female ejaculation should have been so late in coming (no pun intended!)
Yet whatever the reasons for this, there were several groundbreaking studies in the 1980s which not only explored the nature of female sexual anatomy, but also the nature of female ejaculation.
The first study was conducted by Josephine Lowndes Sevely, who recorded details of the history of female ejaculation. Interestingly enough, she discovered that it has been known about, explored and discussed since the 17th century. Even the origin of female ejaculatory fluid (the female prostate) had been known about for quite some time.
A second study by the Federation For Feminist Women’s Healthcare Centers revealed that the structure of the clitoris is much larger than anybody previously known – a large proportion of it being hidden inside the body.
The third significant discovery was that Perry and Whipple identified a particularly sensitive area on the upper wall of the vagina which they nicknamed the G spot (after German researcher Ernst Grafenberg).
They discovered that this spot appeared to be responsible for producing a particular type of orgasm different to the clitoral orgasm, and stimulating female ejaculation into the bargain.
Various studies followed, including chemical analysis of female ejaculatory fluid. Although all of the studies seem to be conclusive in their support for the existence of the G spot, and seemed to prove that there is indeed a distinction between fluid produced by the female prostatic tissue and urine, in recent times different researchers have taken up the challenge of research into the G spot, and they are now beginning to suggest that not only does the G spot not exist, but that female ejaculatory fluid is actually urine.
Where we stand at the moment is in the midst of a vigorous debate between supporters and believers and the skeptics. However, for me, one of the most compelling and conclusive pieces of evidence about the existence of female ejaculation is the fact that anyone who’s experienced will know that the fluid expelled isn’t urine (female ejaculate tastes and smells quite different to urine). We also know that stimulation of the G spot can produce an orgasm without clitoral stimulation.
Furthermore, when an orgasm is produced by a combination of clitoral and G spot stimulation, it combines the qualities of the clitoral orgasm and the vaginal orgasm.
So this really isn’t an act of faith: it’s an act of personal experience.
Now, one of the reasons that people seem to think female ejaculation doesn’t exist is because not all women ejaculate.
Or at least, not all women appear to ejaculate.
But the fact of the matter is that all women do ejaculate, but they may not be aware of it. Under certain conditions – romantic, loving sex that extends over a long period of time, with close intimacy, and slow and gentle G spot stimulation over a period of time, being the chief ones – women may produce a trickle of fluid from the urethra which far exceeds the usual vaginal lubrication.
They may feel that they’ve urinated… but only because they don’t understand what this fluid is.
Indeed, what we now understand is that women can sometimes be so resistant to the idea of releasing fluid during sexual activity that they clampdown on the expulsion and emission of the fluid from the opening of the urethra and so it’s forced up into the bladder… A fact which probably explains why some researchers maintain that female ejaculate is merely diluted urine.
So you can see that this is, without doubt, a complicated area, and somewhat controversial too. But Deborah Sundahl has spent a lot of time and energy educating women about the possibility of female ejaculation, and I am quite sure that she knows what she’s talking about!
So when she says that some women expel only small amounts of ejaculatory fluid because they are conditioned to clamp down on its release, I tend to believe her. It’s this response which makes women think they need to pee during sexual activity.
But it’s a delicate and controversial area, for sure.
Along with the social inhibitions against a woman being seen as lascivious or dirty during sex, comes the practical aspect of PC muscle control, and whether this muscle is generally tense or relaxed.
Dr Francisco Cabello has done a study which suggests that testing urine in the bladder for PSA (prostate specific antigen) demonstrates very clearly that women who don’t ejaculate show more PSA in the urine after orgasm than before. This seems to indicate that a lot of women clampdown on their ejaculation, and the fluid is forced back into the bladder.
When a woman decides that she wants to ejaculate, she makes a conscious choice which gives her permission to be free to fully explore the capacity and ability of her female body to do what it was designed to do. And in doing so – in other words, by choosing to ejaculate – she will increase not only her own sexual pleasure, but the pleasure of her partner.
Equally, if a woman consciously chooses not to ejaculate, she has taken control of her sexuality in a different way.
But to remain ashamed of ejaculation, and to doubt the reality of it, or to fear it because of embarrassment about releasing fluid, is a middle pathway that serves nobody, including the woman and her partner.