As you may have discovered in another post, G spot massage can be a very healing experience which can deal with the residue of trauma and emotional difficulties associated with sexual issues from the past.
Any G spot massage requires trust between the giver and the receiver. So it’s essential that there is a degree of intimacy, and that if you’re feeling any emotional charges of any kind – anger or fear or sadness – towards your partner, that you deal with them before you begin the G spot massage.
It’s also essential that the person giving the massage is prepared for the discharge of emotions associated with past trauma, which can appear in the here-and-now as though they were to do with the person giving the massage right here, right now.
That can be quite difficult to deal with unless you are extremely emotionally mature and able to hold the projections of the person to whom you are giving the G spot massage.
A lot of men have said to me at this point – “well, with such potential problems and difficulties why would I even try this?”
The answer is simple: if you want the pleasure of female ejaculation, and if you want to be a part of your partner’s journey to female ejaculation, if you want to be a part of learning how to make a woman squirt, then you need to go through this process.
And bear in mind that it’s a very intimate process: few couples have the chance or the opportunity or the knowledge to be able to go this deep with each other.
And in going this deep with each other lies the opportunity for great sexual healing.
Sidebar: Video – Men Healing the G Spot
The G Spot Massage – the Path to Making Her Squirt
Now please don’t understand me: this isn’t all about learning how to female ejaculate or making a woman squirt. It’s also about sexual healing and achieving greater intimacy.
And G spot massage is the essential part of this process. Here are some notes on how to do it….
First, it’s important to have intimacy and connection between giver and receiver – and it’s also important for the woman who is receiving a G spot massage to feel sexually aroused and emotionally comfortable; in particular she must feel ready for the giver of the massage to enter her vagina with a finger.
When she’s ready and she’s signaled that it is OK to start, the giver can insert his or her finger and start to massage the woman’s G spot. It’s helpful if the two participants maintain eye contact.
When the giver’s gentle strokes and circular motions of the fingertip pad on the G spot find a spot which the recipient identifies as tender, or numb, it’s fair to assume there’s a block there that needs to be worked through.
And so firm touch to this area from the giver, in response to which the receiver can communicate about what’s going on and what she’s feeling, will help to allow the discharge of “negative” body memory and the restoration of pleasurable sensations.
One helpful technique is for the receiver to voice the experience that she is having: so in other words, rather than raging, or feeling sad, she can step “to the side” of her feeling and recount what is going on for her.
In other words, she might say “I’m feeling sadness, or unfeeling rage, or feeling joy.” In this way, the dumping of historical emotion on the person giving the massage is avoided.
But in any event, the giver needs to keep gentle but firm pressure on the spot that is triggered and emotional memory. Continued massage on that spot should allow the release of trauma and body memory.
It’s possible, of course, that the person receiving the massage feels nothing. In which case the giver should discontinue making circular motions, but apply firm pressure all around the G spot. And while he or she does this, the recipient can say what she’s feeling. No matter what it is, she should be encouraged to breathe in through the feelings and breathe out relaxation.
If the receiver feels pain, then she should relax her G spot and PC muscles whilst the giver presses firmly on the painful area. It may be that emotions come up such as sadness or longing for intimacy, or loneliness or even despair.
And of course it’s also possible that the receiver will feel pleasure in response to the massage – in which case the G spot massage can be continued for as long as the receiver desires.
Female Ejaculation – Women Squirting?
Most women spend a comparatively small amount of time massaging their G spot or exploring the internal anatomy of their vagina with their fingers.
But for sexual and emotional healing, more extensive massage is needed – and there is always a time when it’s right to start, a time when a woman knows that she now has reached the point where she can explore the wounds she suffered in the past.
Sadly, of course, not all women explore their G spot even then. However, the rewards of doing so can be considerable.
Dr Corryna Clark has been offering sexual healing for couples for many years, and she’s recounted how she herself discovered the legacy of the sexual wounds stored in a G spot and recovered sensitivity in the area. From Deborah’s book, where she is quoted as saying:
“I had issues and wounds around sexual abuse. I numbed or shut down and could not stay present during sex. I couldn’t feel pleasurable sensations. I’ve ejaculated pain and I’ve ejaculated a lot of sexual excitement.mostly it’s about intimacy with my partner. If I’m in a really beautiful, safe, and open space with him, then I can ejaculate… Ejaculating is cleansing and erotic. the emotional aspect is like a deep surrender… After ejaculating and orgasming three or four times in one session, I become sensitive to my environment, in tune and centred. The orgasmic energy feels more like a healing throughout my body, akin to the higher healing of goddess love or a state of bliss.”
William Reich said that a person’s emotional health directly controlled or determine their ability to reach and experience full body orgasm.
I suspect he was entirely correct – and fortunately for all of us, the legacy of his teachings have come down to us through Margo Anand, who has invented a system of healing based on Reich’s theory of body armoring and the work of Alexander Lowen.
There are in fact many therapists around these days who specialize in gentle massage techniques, but clearly if you are looking to choose somebody to do this intimate work with you, you need to be very careful about your levels of trust and your boundaries.
The names of therapists who developed the discipline of erotic genital massage which you might recognize include Joseph Kramer, founder of The Body Electric School, Kenneth Ray Stubbs, who worked at the Institute For the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, and Annie Sprinkle. You can look at their websites and get an idea of what old established and ethical practitioners say and think about genital massage.
Then, if you search for your own body worker or massage therapist, you will be better placed to find one who is reliable, knows what they’re doing, and can be trusted.
Even so, you’ill want to interview them carefully, for obvious reasons. You want to understand their background, their training, how long they’ve been doing this work, and why they do it.
A careful interview will give you a strong feeling of whether or not you’re comfortable with an individual, and whether or not you want to engage them to help you in this most sensitive of all areas.