It’s no wonder that most men find female ejaculation so intriguing – it’s arousing, sexual, and very, very thrilling to be a part of the sexual excitement that leads a woman to ejaculate.
Indeed, many men will tell you that their greatest desire is for their partner to “female ejaculate” – many will tell you that it’s the hottest thing they’ve ever experienced.
There are different reasons for this: some are excited by the fact that their partner is really letting go, taking it as a sign of trust and intimacy. Others are just excited by the glorious evidence of how aroused their partner is – as you may know, nothing excites a man sexually more than a highly aroused woman.
Others will tell you that female ejaculation depends on trust, and that it’s a gift because it communicates the love of a woman for her partner.
Others will simply not be able to explain why the idea of a woman gushing or squirting is so exciting. But they know it is!
And in the end, of course, it doesn’t matter. Men like sexual arousal and sexual expression; and there’s nothing more arousing and powerfully sexual than a woman ejaculating.
Video – The G Spot
Your Girl May See Squirting Differently!
Interestingly enough, it’s not always the same for the women who are ejaculating, or learning to do so.
Indeed it’s probably true to say that most men find it easier to accept, like, and even adore the idea of female ejaculation than most women.
And, provided that a man isn’t trying to pressurize his partner into learning the art of female ejaculation, his excitement and arousal can be really important in supporting his woman when she’s first learning how to squirt or gush.
Trouble is, of course, men are geared up to be fixers and problem solvers, so when a woman talks of her desire to learn how to ejaculate, it’s quite possible that her man’s first reaction might be to start researching techniques, workshops, and explaining ways in which she can achieve this highly desirable skill!
And this probably isn’t going to be a great approach for most women, who probably want to get used to the idea in their own time and experiment with the art of gushing or squirting at a pace that suits them.
So here’s a bit of advice for a man who wants to help his partner ejaculate successfully.
First of all, be open to the possibility that your partner wants to learn to ejaculate on her own. She may feel inhibited trying this new skill out in the presence of somebody else – and if she is insistent that she does it on her own, then be open to that idea. After all, you’ll get the benefit of her experience sooner or later….
And then of course it’s equally possible that a woman is going to insist that you take part in her explorations of female ejaculation right from the start. And certainly as a man you can have a major role in making a girl squirt, or showing her how to squirt.
You are, however, going to be more effective in this role if you learn some simple things before you start: like G spot anatomy, and how to stimulate her G spot being high on the list!
In addition, it’s going to be great if you encourage her to speak her mind, telling you what she likes and what she dislikes, ensuring that she is assertive about what she wants, and not tolerating anything which is emotionally or physically uncomfortable for her…. or indeed not just accepting anything that you offer without considering her own needs and wishes.
And finally, you are going to have to drop the idea of an outcome.
You need a sense of humor here, and you certainly need to abandon your male tendency to want a particular outcome. Female ejaculation, gushing, squirting – call it what you will – is not a project!
So keep in mind that for most women, female ejaculation and G spot stimulation are going to be less of a goal than they are for you, and more a part of the overall process of making love.
If you’re particularly goal oriented, then you’re going to have to drop your urge to rush through the process of learning female ejaculation and accept that you need to let go of your desire to control.
As you may have noticed, women need time to think about these things, time to discuss them, and time to explore all possibilities and avenues open to them before they finally make a decision.
According to Deborah Sundahl, a woman’s best chance of learning female ejaculation is to do her first exploration on her own. But, because women like to involve their partners in such intimate activities around sexuality, you need be part of the process right from the start…..
So be sensitive to a woman’s desire to have a conversation about the subject. She might signal you that she wants to talk by offering comments such as “I’ve been hearing about female ejaculation recently.”
You can take such comments as a sign that she wants to discuss it with you, perhaps wants to know what you feel and think about it, and how you might feel about her trying to ejaculate.
Since you’re probably going to be delighted, that isn’t too much of a problem.
Video: Female Ejaculation And The G Spot
But You Have A Problem In Making A Girl Squirt
You’re not a woman and you don’t know about female anatomy. And you don’t know what the experience of being a woman is like. Hmmmm……
So you’re going to have to use your imagination to a great extent here to feel your way sensitively and kindly so that you can actually offer useful support.
Equally, you need to be able to help a woman understand that she might be better not doing this without preparation. She needs some basic information about the structure of her G spot, the emotional wounding it can hold, obstacles towards gushing or squirting, and she certainly needs to understand the necessity of dealing with deep-seated sexual issues such as sexual abuse, assault, or unwanted acts of intercourse if she is to have full G spot sensitivity.
The best way to deal with these things is to give her a good resource and let her read and consider the issues involved for herself. One that comes highly recommended is a book by Deborah Sundahl called Female Ejaculation and the G Spot, although there are also plenty of resources available online.
Even so, at the end of the day you’re in a partnership, and being a man, you’re probably very keen to please her and help her learn how to gush or squirt.
But that’s not enough. You need to know more.
- You need to know, for example, the structure of the G spot, and where it is.
- You need to know about the necessity of getting her sufficiently aroused to find touch on her G spot pleasurable.
- You need to know how to stimulate her G spot.
- You need to know how stimulating her G spot can release sexual trauma and emotional memories that are nothing to do with the present time, but entirely to do with your partner’s historical experience.
- Because there are so many different ways of stimulating the G spot, you might want to go and do a little bit of research for yourself before you get into the bedroom, no matter how good your intentions might be.
- So let’s assume, for the sake of your “mission” to make a girl squirt, that you’ve looked up some information about G spot anatomy, you know where it is, and you’ve also researched the right stimulation techniques. Now you’re using them.
But suppose that your partner says she doesn’t feel anything.
That’s really quite likely, especially if a woman has never discovered where her G spot is, and has never ejaculated.
Yet it’s also a fact that if you’re rubbing the upper wall of her vagina from 1 to 3 inches inside, then you are rubbing her G spot.
What does it mean, therefore, if she says she feels nothing?
The answer to that question depends on the cause of this numbness.
You can easily feel the G spot if it’s there: it feels like a ridged band of tissue before she’s sexually aroused, and with increasing arousal it begins to feel soft and swollen, perhaps with a series of raised areas as though there were little bubbles inside the G spot and your finger was rubbing over their surface.
And if your partner still says that she feels nothing, despite your stimulation of her G spot, then what’s required is a sensitive re-awakening of her G spot.
Remember it can numb out due to sexual trauma early in life; the impact of such trauma appears to be stored in the tissues of the pelvic area in general and the G spot in particular.
But, happily, the right kind of stimulation will enable her to release this emotional trauma and begin to restore sensitivity to her G spot.
Another possibility, oddly enough, is that she’s just not really aroused – in which case more clitoral stimulation, particularly oral stimulation, may well get to the point where a finger on her G spot will indeed allow her to feel some inklings of sexual pleasure.
Certainly, once you’ve found her G spot, and once you’ve noticed it becoming swollen, you stand a chance of making your girl squirt.
Bear in mind that ejaculation doesn’t depend on her having an orgasm.
In fact, if sexual stimulation has resulted in fluid accumulation within the G spot, then it’s possible that you can effectively use your fingers to apply a “milking” motion from the far end of the G spot towards you along its body.
But you can’t do this unless a woman who is interested in ejaculating and knows what she’s doing: her fluid (also known as “amrita”) will not be expelled unless she physically pushes and mentally opens up to the idea of expulsion.
Without her cooperation, the fluid will not be expelled. (One of the reasons for this is because a lot of women fear that they are simply urinating when liquid squirts out of the urethra during G pot stimulation.)
They therefore clamp their muscles down to stop it happening, and the female ejaculate is actually discharged upwards into the bladder. That is why so much confusion has arisen about the nature of the fluid that is expelled during female ejaculation.
The myth that it’s urine seems to have come from the fact that this retrograde ejaculation into the bladder propels the “markers” for female ejaculatory fluid – which happen to be prostate specific antigens – up into the bladder.
So those are the basics – and on another page of this site we will look at the techniques that actually can assist female ejaculation. (For the debate about the reality of the G spot, click here.)